Occasionally I get emails from fans wanting to know where they can send notes of thanks to Stevie Nicks for her music. I direct them to her official site, The Nicksfix, but also offer to post a few paragraphs on this blog about their Stevie story. A few readers liked that idea and sent me some memories or thoughts on what Stevie's music means to them.
It's been busy keeping up with all the media reviews of the Unleashed show and those fan stories have been holding for a break in the action. Well, I think the timing's perfect right about now. A few music critic reviews have been unabashedly rude, unfair and nonsensical lately and I've had my fill of them for the moment.
Today is a time-out over here from the crazy train and instead the focus is back on us and what made us fans in the first place - the poetry and undeniable fury of the human condition in Stevie's and Fleetwood Mac's music.
This is Amanda and this is her story about Stevie's song Goodbye Baby, posted with Amanda's permission.
Stevie Nicks changed my life when I was 15 and my parents took me to the Say You Will tour. I grew up with Fleetwood Mac songs in the house, (my Mom and older sister became Stevie and Christine McVie at the drop of a hat singing Fleetwood Mac songs on the radio) so I knew most of the popular songs and loved Stevie's voice.
The Say You Will show was my very first concert and I remember it like yesterday even though I'm now 21 years old, the music rushing through me, Lindsey's guitar seemed to be playing him it was so alive! The lights, the sound of the crowd, everything pulsing with life. And then a song I didn't recognize for the last encore. The crowd got quiet with the soft strings Lindsey was picking and the lights went down.
"Don't take me to the tower," Stevie sang, "and take my child away". I watched her bow her head a little as she sang that line and close her eyes a second. It really affected me. Then, "And I who went to sleep as two, woke up as one, now only you remain." And moments later, "Goodbye baby, I hope your heart's not broken. Don't forget me, yes I was outspoken. You were with me all the time, I'll be with you ooooone day." I lost it a little bit and my Mom took me outside to the bathroom where I just cried with her.
I am adopted. In my early teens, when I went to junior high, I was having an especially hard time accepting that my birth mother gave me away the day I was born. When Stevie sang that song, I felt like those were my mother's words to me. I don't know much about her and I don't want to find her. Maybe that sounds mean, but unless you are adopted you don't understand that. I feel like she made her choice and now that I'm an adult I've made mine.
I love my adoptive parents and family. They are my mom and dad and that's it. But still, I have a sadness that's always there under the surface that only someone whose mother passed them off knows. So when I feel my demon creeping up, I turn Stevie on and she keeps him away. When Stevie sings "Goodbye Baby", I pretend she's my mother singing to me. Not in a weird way but just as a little touchstone.
I always cry after the verse, "And I who went to sleep in tears, woke up in tears, for all of the years. And I who never, never said goodbye as I slipped away" but it makes me feel better if that makes any sense. So I want to say thank you to Stevie Nicks for a beautiful song and all her great music. I'm not sure what her personal meaning is for "Goodbye Baby", but I hope she would feel happy knowing mine and that it's the most important song to me, ever.
Thank you Amanda for sharing this. I am positively wrung out from your story and I wish you all the best.
I am thinking about posting fan stories more. Would you enjoy that? Do you have a Stevie story you would like to share on this site? You can send them to me and I will post as able. Please be aware that I may edit them down to a length appropriate for blog posts, about 500 words or so. Also, if you don't know, In Her Own Words is a great site that has Stevie's own explanations for some of her songs and other things. Definitely worth visiting.
Lyrics | Goodbye Baby lyrics
4 Boots:
"Goodbye Baby" is surely one of Stevie's finest moments, a testament to her middle-aged maturity after a wild-hearted youth. Thanks for sharing Amanda's story. Her songs can be, as Lindsey wrote, "a little world within a world / just a dream just a dream," the kind of music capable of catharsis once you enter the worlds she referred to when accepting the BMI award (?) for "Landslide" some years ago.
That was beautiful. I hope Stevie gets to read Amanda's story somehow.
Shoot, I'm crying right now. That is such an emotional story. Amanda if you're reading these comments, I want to wish you peace in your life with what your birth mother did. Maybe it's not my place to say, but maybe you are much better off the way things worked out for you.
Have you ever heard about Stevie having a daughter nobody seems to know about.I heard she is in kentucky.
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